I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
