You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
