i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize