Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
