i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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