I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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