All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
