My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
She's not a foreskin expert like you
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
