My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
