hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
