girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
