Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
