I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You are a genius and a whore.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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