there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Randomize
