you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
