at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I touched a dick in church today
Just puked most of my soul out..
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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