one two three fourrrrnication!
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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