apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
