I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
