If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
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