A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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