It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
