dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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