Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
