a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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