oh god the rape fog is back!
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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