sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i love accidental penises.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
