My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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