Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
