Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize