I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
