woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize