I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
