He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
