Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
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