i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
