Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize