I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Randomize
