Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Drunk is a universal language darling
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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