Fuck appropriateness.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
