I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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