Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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