Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
