Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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