Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
