Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
