Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(858): View more from California

I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.

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(757): View more from Virginia

high people should be assigned attendants

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(818): View more from California

I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.

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(712): View more from Iowa

i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends

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(314): View more from Missouri

Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.

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(773): View more from Illinois

btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs

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(585): View more from New York

He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out

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(607): View more from New York

And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)

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