just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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