I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
