dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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