i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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