she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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