just come out here and I will go home with you...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Randomize
