So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
