I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Randomize
