no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
